https://climaneed.com/members/jokes/activity/ Activity feed for Jack. Sat, 27 Jun 2026 21:27:56 +0200 https://buddypress.org/?v=2.11.0 en-US 30 hourly 2 14ab91f294a5e5f2566287856586d4c0 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43361/ Sat, 27 Jun 2026 20:34:41 +0200 Why did the banana go see a doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.

]]> 0 1725c78d31118e07550320afd4273502 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43359/ Sat, 27 Jun 2026 16:31:56 +0200 “99.9% of the people are dumb!”
“Fortunately I belong to the remaining 1%”

]]> 0 1e7e19a5f2b1ec21c8841fbd77e930a8 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43357/ Sat, 27 Jun 2026 12:32:14 +0200 Do you know what killed the man who had a two ton pumpkin fall on him?
He was squashed.

]]> 0 26ea6d2b2e41d9860dd7ccbe6018c674 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43352/ Sat, 27 Jun 2026 08:37:18 +0200 My wife left me because I’m too insecure and paranoid.
Oh wait, never mind. She was just getting the mail.

]]> 0 4c6f1475fd7d9131c9e191ae0ba89af4 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43350/ Sat, 27 Jun 2026 04:33:23 +0200 “Can I tell you a TCP joke?”
“Please tell me a TCP joke.”
“OK, I’ll tell you a TCP joke.”

]]> 0 5304f5c0d71e1977d36edf9d5cb045c0 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43348/ Sat, 27 Jun 2026 00:33:20 +0200 Why is 6 afraid of 7 in hexadecimal Canada?
Because 7 8 9 A?

]]> 0 e53b0088ace727ab4ffcca00ac6ac2cf https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43345/ Fri, 26 Jun 2026 20:32:16 +0200 A guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers.
The bartender says “I’ll have to charge you extra, that’s a root beer float”.
The guy says “In that case, better make it a double.”

]]> 0 9b8844c30fb06b7e6ff60bf8e2eda750 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43343/ Fri, 26 Jun 2026 16:34:16 +0200 What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet!

]]> 0 0599ccc8e0f4745558d1540cdd361873 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43341/ Fri, 26 Jun 2026 12:31:47 +0200 How much did your chimney cost?
Nothing, it was on the house.

]]> 0 dbce0a700271776c41cf81f16f14a766 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43336/ Fri, 26 Jun 2026 08:31:54 +0200 Why do Java programmers hate communism?
They don’t want to live in a classless society.

]]> 0 42318c6aa80f9353650ac09edb267292 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43334/ Fri, 26 Jun 2026 04:33:02 +0200 I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, but then it struck me.

]]> 0 d90f601e48b678cec108d2ea1bebecb9 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43332/ Fri, 26 Jun 2026 00:33:29 +0200 To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!

]]> 0 0472259dddd386da69767db1a4440a0a https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43329/ Thu, 25 Jun 2026 20:32:28 +0200 Today I learned that changing random stuff until your program works is “hacky” and a “bad coding practice” but if you do it fast enough it’s “Machine Learning” and pays 4x your current salary.

]]> 0 de043ed7b747e1d2af8730b9fb80634a https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43327/ Thu, 25 Jun 2026 16:31:52 +0200 I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.
Then it dawned on me.

]]> 0 97819a639adbd5a9aa2ac11940c66b5b https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43325/ Thu, 25 Jun 2026 12:31:51 +0200 Two C strings walk into a bar.
The bartender asks “What can I get ya?”
The first string says “I’ll have a gin and tonic.”
The second string thinks for a minute, then says “I’ll take a tequila sunriseJF()#$JF(#)$(@J#()$@#())!*FNIN!OBN134ufh1ui34hf9813f8h8384h981h3984h5F!##@”
The first string apologizes, “You’ll have to excuse my friend, he’s… Read more

]]> 0 1c2e70e6e49fcd67bc7a6d0ab6fbaa0f https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43320/ Thu, 25 Jun 2026 08:31:49 +0200 The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

]]> 0 d547500c9b3d6415b2f8b99a32abe9c6 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43318/ Thu, 25 Jun 2026 04:32:05 +0200 Why didn’t the skeleton go for prom?
Because it had nobody.

]]> 0 c5d4078e764bfc8eb2f65c1c52a3b2e5 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43316/ Thu, 25 Jun 2026 00:33:21 +0200 Java and C were telling jokes. It was C’s turn, so he writes something on the wall, points to it and says “Do you get the reference?” But Java didn’t.

]]> 0 b53dace463c270f9e0c540cc36c31a91 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43313/ Wed, 24 Jun 2026 20:32:15 +0200 What do you call a developer who doesn’t comment code?
A developer.

]]> 0 3249efae8dfb06be48f1555fa036bd90 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43311/ Wed, 24 Jun 2026 16:32:05 +0200 What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet!

]]> 0 9c710677d0da2bd12687bb89d7edc28a https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43309/ Wed, 24 Jun 2026 12:31:55 +0200 What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.

]]> 0 dbe2261d293e140d26044344ec52b2f0 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43304/ Wed, 24 Jun 2026 08:32:31 +0200 I was feeling depressed, my wife put her hand on my back and said “Earth.”
It meant the world to me.

]]> 0 7edfd44bb9906baf112e889820fd9f5c https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43302/ Wed, 24 Jun 2026 04:33:37 +0200 How did you make your friend rage?
I implemented a greek question mark in his JavaScript code.

]]> 0 40d3153a3b0028682e72c66a6c59b3cf https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43299/ Wed, 24 Jun 2026 00:32:02 +0200 Why did the web developer walk out of a resturant in disgust?
The seating was laid out in tables.

]]> 0 9f832cfb21a433619a18e73fda99d5a7 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43296/ Tue, 23 Jun 2026 20:31:46 +0200 How can you tell an extroverted programmer?
He looks at YOUR shoes when he’s talking.

]]> 0 e2f29c219e6be081530b8feb291e01f6 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43294/ Tue, 23 Jun 2026 16:32:08 +0200 What does the mermaid wear to math class?
Algae-bra.

]]> 0 e898fe070743ba69010b78486cd7c06a https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43292/ Tue, 23 Jun 2026 12:32:52 +0200 Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because they didn’t Node how to Express themself!

]]> 0 60e7b4b8815a026c14c964a6e4fcecd1 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43287/ Tue, 23 Jun 2026 08:32:42 +0200 Has COVID-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
If so, you may be entitled to condensation.

]]> 0 ba192b21ed30065979ff4da44561b95e https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43285/ Tue, 23 Jun 2026 04:32:07 +0200 Why are cats so good at video games?
They have nine lives.

]]> 0 a4635b9595c50bb2e432f7416e5e4d36 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43283/ Tue, 23 Jun 2026 00:31:53 +0200 Why did the programmer jump on the table?
Because debug was on his screen.

]]> 0 6e80fb6a019fb5009b99ff4f65012128 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43280/ Mon, 22 Jun 2026 20:32:54 +0200 Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

]]> 0 fd6df1e06f4ba47a71401ed763b44900 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43278/ Mon, 22 Jun 2026 16:31:50 +0200 What’s the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.

]]> 0 fb20cce16891c7b74c57011c06825eaa https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43276/ Mon, 22 Jun 2026 12:32:45 +0200 Why did the banana go see a doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.

]]> 0 86bf08e82ee3d6b1fd6de643190d4d0e https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43271/ Mon, 22 Jun 2026 08:32:18 +0200 I’m not saying my son is ugly…
But on Halloween he went to tell the neighbors to turn down their TV and they gave him some candy.

]]> 0 fccf83e7007357f582f30e7490ecef81 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43270/ Mon, 22 Jun 2026 04:33:36 +0200 A neutron walks into a bar and asks for a price on a drink.
The barkeeper says: “For you… no charge!”

]]> 0 c125c7dd4b3dc3102e53b7af1c0b47ef https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43268/ Mon, 22 Jun 2026 00:32:12 +0200 I hate Russian matryoshka dolls.
They’re so full of themselves.

]]> 0 fdef6433e86777803cc6246533cad834 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43265/ Sun, 21 Jun 2026 20:32:08 +0200 I asked my wife if I was the only one she’s been with.
She said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights.”

]]> 0 4708895fda0b645636443c62fd79c6e9 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43263/ Sun, 21 Jun 2026 16:33:13 +0200 UDP is better in the COVID era since it avoids unnecessary handshakes.

]]> 0 06ff652ad1c56f3a82a74b822372b4ad https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43261/ Sun, 21 Jun 2026 12:32:52 +0200 What happened to the man who got behind on payments to his exorcist?
He got repossessed.

]]> 0 156e62303f6ed77645898980bb03356c https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43256/ Sun, 21 Jun 2026 08:33:09 +0200 A Roman walks into a bar and raises 2 fingers and says to the bartender…
“Five beers, please.”

]]> 0 8ff04a650b5e84726f353ecd4e056552 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43254/ Sun, 21 Jun 2026 04:32:28 +0200 A neutron walks into a bar and asks for a price on a drink.
The barkeeper says: “For you… no charge!”

]]> 0 8a176410630e70d07178441938c95a78 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43251/ Sun, 21 Jun 2026 00:31:50 +0200 A neutron walks into a bar and asks for a price on a drink.
The barkeeper says: “For you… no charge!”

]]> 0 3a029e2c084fc5cde903958139217ba4 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43248/ Sat, 20 Jun 2026 20:32:06 +0200 You see, mountains aren’t just funny.
They are hill areas.

]]> 0 a37f2f778abc8d8225c5c96e0ca4978e https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43246/ Sat, 20 Jun 2026 16:32:48 +0200 The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

]]> 0 11b9541fe68e28df36dfd82759d3f3e9 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43245/ Sat, 20 Jun 2026 12:32:04 +0200 Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

]]> 0 f4f6db351965b72be2471b465fded460 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43240/ Sat, 20 Jun 2026 08:32:18 +0200 “Can I tell you a TCP joke?”
“Please tell me a TCP joke.”
“OK, I’ll tell you a TCP joke.”

]]> 0 918a96a43849afd569f1afbdf771c351 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43238/ Sat, 20 Jun 2026 04:32:36 +0200 Four engineers get into a car. The car won’t start.
The Mechanical engineer says “It’s a broken starter”.
The Electrical engineer says “Dead battery”.
The Chemical engineer says “Impurities in the gasoline”.
The IT engineer says “Hey guys, I have an idea: How about we all get out of the car and get back in”.

]]> 0 3cad337efc187314e15f1554e1418805 https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43236/ Sat, 20 Jun 2026 00:32:01 +0200 How do you generate a random string?
Put a Windows user in front of Vim and tell them to exit.

]]> 0 a50e9cad53faf04fcd9bc7979758a30d https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43233/ Fri, 19 Jun 2026 20:31:45 +0200 What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?
Quatro Sinko.

]]> 0 06ed96f48f91769e7054accdeed345cd https://climaneed.com/discover/p/43231/ Fri, 19 Jun 2026 16:32:43 +0200 Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.

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